This time of year has got me missing home like you wouldn’t believe. I am so grateful that I have a home so worthy of being missed so much. The holiday season reminds me so much of the importance of family. More than that though, the holiday season reminds me of the importance of God. Without God, I wouldn’t have gotten through this last season of my life. I would have been overcome with anxiety and stress and fear and loneliness. Instead, I was overcome with gratitude, strength, peace, love, joy, and presence. Having just wrapped up Thanksgiving last week and with Christmas upon us in a few more, my heart has been so focused on gratitude and joy. Even though I won’t be making it home for the holidays this year, I will get to spend Christmas with my sweet babies and my husband, my own little family. It will be quiet and quaint, so opposite of the Christmas usually spent with my family back home. But it will be beautiful and special as our first solo Christmas as a family.
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So it all of the sudden hit me that in less than one week, both of my babies will hit milestone months. Every mother out there knows of the bittersweet tinge of pain we get in our hearts watching our little one grow. You never really, fully get it until it’s your own children. Everything everyone’s ever told us about being a parent seems so insignificant until you’re in the heart of it and you realize that they were all right. So here is a little bit about my journey with my sweet babes. Number One: Two Pink Lines Finding out I was pregnant for the very first time with Emma, I think I just sat in shock. I had to go take a shower to talk myself through it (my best arguments and thoughts come from long showers) and finally convinced myself that I could get through this. With Elijah, pretty much the same pattern ensued. I was only three months post-partum. I remember for a few days I had been feeling very nauseous, and I thought it was a result of the new pre-workout supplements I was taking. After deciding to stop taking them, I went to the gym and had a pretty basic workout. Towards the end of my workout I started feeling nauseous again, but this time I knew it was going to make me sick. I ran to the bathroom and suddenly I had an epiphany. I knew this feeling… I had experienced it on and off for a few months when I was—that’s right—when I was pregnant. Shaking and nervous, I left the gym and ran to my favorite place in the world, Target, to get a few tests. I went home as fast as possible and one test, two pink lines, and a long, hot shower later I knew. I was about to become a mother of two. an ode to Dan and Jessie||In honor of veterans day, I wanted to share with you a poem I wrote for my good friends Dan and Jessie. Dan is in the Navy and currently on a MEU (deployment), and Jessie is home, working full-time. This is for them.||
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TashinaRead. Write. Create. Love. Archives
October 2018
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