I’ve been very distant from my social media for quite a long time. As much as I value these platforms, I also needed to be intentional with spending my days with my children. If I’m being really honest, I have started and never finished post after post. I have “mom brain”, I have four beautiful babies who consume my time and energy, and every time I try to sit down with the intention to revamp my blog I either can’t focus or get constantly interrupted by toddlers fighting naps, babies needing to be fed, or my own immense need for genuine rest.
I am exhausted. This is the first time in over five years—in fact it’s been just over 2,000 days since my body first conceived a baby—that my body feels like it’s coming back into balance. This is just the start. I have a long road to get my body back into centered balance. I have to respect myself every single step of the way. My body. My mind. Even my soul. I’ve experienced some physical hardships over the years. Not just the common hardships my body went through during pregnancy, through back to back pregnancies, but a one-in-a-million pregnancy that my body tried three different times to reject before it forced me into premature labor no matter what the medical personnel tried to do to stop it. And then another surprise pregnancy which led to an unsolved stroke, and then a few weeks ago I experienced what is being considered multiple seizures. At only 26 years old, my body is run down. While doing my best to maintain a healthy balance in my life, I can honestly say that I still struggle. Because this isn’t my highlight reel. This is my life. There have been days I lack any motivation, there are days I struggle to remain calm and loving with my kids. Where I lock myself in my bedroom for five simple minutes of alone time. Just to breathe and close my eyes. To keep from crying or screaming. I’m stressed a lot of the time, but I also give myself the grace to feel that. It doesn’t overwhelm me. It doesn’t consume me, because I pray. I pray my way through multiple spills and messes. I pray my way through tantrums and sibling rivalry. I pray away fear of physical ailments. I pray that God gives me the strength to be the woman, the wife, the mother, the friend that he has called me to be. So following my heart and the passions God has given me, here I am. Writing. It’s not perfect. But it’s where I need to be--to just begin. I am hoping to start this journey up again, with the grace I’ve found while being away. I could really use your prayers while I follow up with all the specialists to figure out what’s been going on in my body. Thank you for all the love and support you’ve always given me! My prayer is that you feel inspired, included, uplifted, and as always, blessed. sincerely, t
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It has been quite the while since one of these was written, and after my previous post I hope you can understand why!
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TashinaRead. Write. Create. Love. Archives
October 2018
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