Life is breathtaking. The concept alone is such a mystery—so enigmatic.
These past few months have been a blur for me, yet nothing has ever seemed so clear. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, and simply because I’ve been so busy living my life so full! Since the last time you heard from me, I have had some pretty momentous events take place. I got married to the man of my dreams and love of my life—my own high school sweetheart. My darling husband and I also had the immense pleasure of announcing to the world that we are expecting! Her name is Emma, and she is the light of our life, already! So as you can see, my whole world is turning around and changing constantly, and I’ve been a bit too excited and flustered to write until now. Nothing against all of you, but my family definitely comes first for me, and always will. (: But now I want to take the time to share with all of you what has been happening alongside all these fun and incredible events: Married life—how to even begin? For starters, I just want to give a shout out to all the military spouses out there (as I am one myself)—this life isn’t always easy and seeing as we have zero control over 99% of life anymore, being selfless doesn’t just come naturally, it comes as part of the package. I have huge respect and compassion for all of you out there, as well as gratitude for your significant other who is serving our country. I actually haven’t even had the pleasure of living with my husband quite yet, as we are have been waiting for our house to be open for us to move into, and tomorrow is that day! Finally, I will feel like an authentic wife! For all you wives out there, I know you know what I’m talking about—I can’t wait to make breakfast, pack lunches, and have dinner waiting on the table for my husband when he comes home from work. I can’t wait to just see him every day, and not have to sleep alone at nights. I can’t wait to do laundry and buy him a 6-pack after a long day at work—just the little things that will make being a wife feel much more real for me. I mean yes, I get to see my husband every weekend and half of the week, because we simply can’t stand not being together, but an hour commute for him each way is going to be something that neither of us will miss, starting tomorrow! Life is so beautiful. Life is breathtaking. The concept alone is such a mystery—so enigmatic. Everyone I know who has been married has told me of the beauty of married life. They have also warned me of how trying it may be at times, and we have had our fair share of ridiculous arguments, but at the same time, no one can prepare you for just how WONDERFUL being married is. Even the arguing. I look at Zach, and a huge warmth spreads through my whole being. When he grasps my hand, I get those silly, little butterflies that I used to get five years ago, when he first held my hand. Being married is like falling in love for the fist time, every time I see him. The feeling never goes away. And it’s crazy, but I know that I love him more wholly and deeply every day that passes. (: We often talk about the day that we met—we both remember every detail so clearly—and we just laugh. I feel so blessed by God for that day. We have made a million memories since then, and each one still burns so brightly in our minds. I hope to write them all down, eventually, as to never forget a moment of our beautiful mess of a life. (: On to the other exciting part of life: being pregnant! Oh my goodness!! I can’t even really begin to explain it to you, but I will do my best. It’s true. All of it—every cliché that you’ve ever heard is true. It really is ridiculous and crazy that you can love someone so much, when you’ve never met them. It really is the most beautiful experience. It really feels like such a miracle that your body is carrying LIFE. Life is breathtaking. The concept alone is such a mystery—so enigmatic. It is a true gift from God. I have never been more aware of God. Every choice I make, I keep my sweet daughter in mind. What I eat, what I listen to, what I do with my time, my tone of voice (I try to never be negative)—life isn’t about me anymore. I live and breathe for every movement she makes. Trust me when I say she is quite the little wiggle-worm! She especially loves hearing her daddy’s voice, and always like to kick extra hard when he’s around. I wish I could physically give to you even an ounce of the joy that she makes me feel! It is impossible to have a bad day, because of her. She is half me, half Zach, and one hundred percent a miracle from God. My biggest fear in life used to be that I wouldn’t be able to have kids, and as that fear was diminished, the only thing I really fear anymore is missing a single moment of Emma’s life. She is going to be so beautiful! We cannot wait to see what she looks like and hear what she sounds like and experience what she feels like. And while it is also true that no matter how prepared you think you are, you’re never 100% ready to have a kid, her coming into our lives is the best thing that has ever happened to us. I’m not afraid of failing, because I know that sometimes I just will. I’m not afraid of being a bad mom, because somehow I know that at each turn, God will show me what to do. I’m not afraid. I’m ecstatic. I’ve never felt more alive and in love with this beautiful life! Life is breathtaking. The concept alone is such a mystery—so enigmatic. To be honest, I don’t know if any of this is making any sense to you. Pregnancy brain really does get the best of you, and if you don’t know what that is, I pray that some day you will. This experience is so wonderful and amazing! Pregnancy brain is basically where all of the sudden, you’re the most forgetful person. If that baby wasn’t strapped around your middle, you might even forget them! Hahaha. That’s only a joke—I hope! Basically my trains of thought are colliding and disappearing quicker than they are coming, and sometimes I just don’t make any sense. My husband loves to make fun of me for how ridiculous I have become with this new symptom of pregnancy. I can thankfully say that I have had a very easy pregnancy, from what every lady who has ever been pregnant has told me. God has blessed me with all of the positives of this experience and very, very few of the negatives, if any at all. I don’t even have that one weird craving, which differs for every pregnant person. I haven’t gained any extra weight other than what comes with the baby—I haven’t allowed Emma to become my excuse not to, instead she is my reason why I do! I haven’t stopped eating healthy, and in fact eat healthier now than before I found out I was pregnant. I haven’t stopped working out, and still push myself to workout every day (at least a walk or something!). I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been in my entire life! So after reading all of this, I hope you have a smile in your heart (if not on your face)! Life is so beautiful and exciting! To sum it up into just a few sentences: Life is breathtaking. The concept alone is such a mystery—so enigmatic. Stop trying to figure it out and just live! sincerely, t
0 Comments
|
TashinaRead. Write. Create. Love. Archives
October 2018
|